On A Bad Day

on a bad day….

I never knew it was ok not to be ok. sometimes i still don’t believe it, i hope to god one day i will with my whole heart.

A bad day is ok… it’s weird writing that, its even weirder reading it, but you need to hear it, see it, feel it. Its ok. The pressure we put on ourselves is not normal. I get really confused about life sometimes, what it means, why we are here, all of those bizarre questions no one can give one answer to; everyones opinions are different. Then i think to myself what am i doing with my life? am i wasting it? am i doing it right? should i be married by now? what is the right way though?

We are not all destined to do the same thing, so i don’t know why i compare myself to a complete stranger, and if you do you shouldn’t either. There is no time limit to what is and isn’t success, one mans trash is another treasure.

It doesn’t make you a weak or bad person to have an off day, “a bad day” so what. Live it, and get over it, that doesn’t define who you are or what your life is. to think everyone is always happy and is an unreasonable expectation that i’ve put on myself, its not real. THAT IS NOT REAL LIFE. I want to experience it all! The bad the good the best and the worst.

There is no sunshine without rain, your ok, your doing just great and so am i.

Our Movement.

fullsizeoutput_253aI guess you’re wondering what my title is about… Well you, I and who ever else reads this post needs to be ‘Our Movement’

It has come to light, another Love island contender Mr Mike Thalassitis has taken his own life. I did not know this man personally, nor am I unaware that there are many other young men and women struggling with mental health. We are preaching a movement to be “nicer” “kinder” “our best self” “that trolls are unwanted and evil”….. My question to you and everyone else is. why? Why hasn’t any action been taken? Why is there still TROllS? why are WE allowing it? If we are so saddened and hurt by the affects, WHY is nothing being done?

It’s time this movement happened, we can talk and say what ever we like about changing the way our generation is, but only WE can make the changes. Enough is enough now! Don’t you think? We can’t just see the potential in someone when it’s to late. Hate is unwelcome and should not be tolerated in any walk of life.

If WE are going to be to compelled by reality TV, let us help to change the rules and regulations! Let US make them… “we’re” so upset and hurt by an innocent person taking their own life. Let’s stand together and make sure history never repeats itself.

I’m standing for our movement. Will you?

Rest in Peace MikeThalassitis

Leggy leg boobie boob girls

Nope i’m not one of them either.

That doesn’t mean to say i’m less desirable, beautiful or sexy. dose it? My answer would be to preach NO, beauty is whats in the inside not the outside. I could scream that until i’m blue in the face to someone else, but i cant take my own advise. The worst thing is – I believe it so much for everyone else but when it comes to me why do i disregard it completely. why the fuck am i doing that?

legs 7

I find it hard that there is this invisible rule book you have to follow in order to be seen as beautiful. Big lips, Skinny  legs, big bum, long hair, skinny but curvy (whats that all about) This expectation to look like people that don’t even look like them themselves is torturing us. Its not fair, And it needs to stop. 

I can appreciate beauty in every form its presented to me. A smile, a laugh, a 6 pack LoL. So i’m going to stop trying to define beauty, and just enjoy it for what it is.

you are beautiful.


Holy Fucking fuck


Walking over London bridge at 8:00am after being stuck on a over crowded train with people miserable as sin i can assure you is not the one.

Walking to work- i normally listen to a podcast (my current favorite is Fearne Cottons Happy Place) – or i  think….. what am i doing with my life? holy fucking fuck... I’m not a size 8 with legs coming from my armpits, or thick hair down to my bum, i don’t have £500 to get hair extensions to stop looking like a little boy, and will i ever not have acne… oh and that’s not even the start. i then walk past a guy. Hes sat on the floor, head between his hands.  A piece of card board that reads ‘Hi im Dan, i’m 20 and i’m homeless’ HOLY FUCKING FUCK. I’m walking along thinking to myself, how can i lose this weight- starve myself? make myself sick? Not eat until 12 (Fasting is apparently the latest trend) it cant be that hard so many people do it, right? I see Dan. I’m choosing if and when i want to eat and what i eat, this poor young guy doesn’t know when hes even going to get his next meal let alone chose what it is. TIME FOR A REALITY CHECK.

Why are we all so obsessed with stupid/materialistic things? I cant answer it with a well respected reason. Can you? Why do we all want what we cant have? I have blonde hair and i hate it because,  its thin and weak, however I’ve met women from different countries and cultures that think its the most beautiful thing in the world. how fucked is that.

Take this time to realize, you may be feeling really fucking shitty, but there is always someone worse off than you. life isn’t a race, nor does it have a check list, so why am i comparing my path to someone else’s? Surly i’m not a failure just because i might not have their legs, hair, waist, car.. what ever it may be. And nor are you. your journey is your own so enjoy it because what else if life for.

I’ve recently been exposed to the fact that life is not an endless time line, in fact it doesn’t last forever. isn’t it about time we stop being selfish to ourselves? No one can be you! There will never ever be another you in this life, so why change you? The way you look,  act or anything else. Because the chances are someone else is out there wishing they have what you’ve got.